First, I sure appreciate that you know that sending out a broader email that focuses on the positive and includes some of your personal gospel learning that week is the right thing to do. I assume you still blind copy a bunch of people?
Second, please don't hesitate to share the challenges as well with mom and I so we can pray more directly as well as ponder with you each week. You are the purpose we are here to find joy in. I want you to be happy and I have found that way. I know you are discovering it too.
Third, I recall in Norway having many days and weeks when I really struggled. I would work for hours and hours and get not even a nibble. I honestly believe I truly taught less that a dozen or two real lessons my entire mission. We tried, we shared quick thoughts, but there was really no interest. I had to fight through that and discovered as I focused on my personal study and faith, the work became easier. I found more joy even when rejected. I just felt closer to the Lord and found His joy.
Fourth, I continue to empathize in a new way as bishop. I get so discouraged when people try to move forward in the Lord but just don't. I try to teach, to encourage, to motivate but for many it just goes nowhere or so very slow. And the worst is when someone doesn't even want to move forward. They have lost so much of their faith that they have no desire to come unto the Lord. They choose their worldly lifestyle and their sin more than they choose Him and eternal life. I feel the pains of the Savior as I yearn for them to get the desire, and I see what God wants for them, but they can't see beyond the daily indulgence and self service. When we really find joy we get outside ourselves and recognize that joy comes in others.
Fifth, recall the scripture of bringing souls unto Him. I had to cling to that my whole mission as I realized that very likely (and it came true) I was the one soul I would bring to Him. I would serve, I would work, I would try to improve, but in the end that one soul that was being converted was me. I am eternally grateful He would be patient enough with me to work on me as I served that I might prepare myself for a lifetime of service. And it has been worth it every day since. And I look forward to many more.
I honestly hope that you are finding that same eternal faith deep in your heart that will remain forever. That brings the joy in 3 John 1:4.
Grandma Smith had it right. Work hard, study hard, pray hard and the rest the Lord will add unto you. Never give up in doing what's right. I am so pleased with your testimony growth and your love for others you have found. That love, or charity, will last you a lifetime.
So why does the Lord work this way? I am unclear but I have seen it over and over. As we serve those around us we get a love so deep that it hurts when they reject what treasure we have found and want to give.
Dad
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